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Right after Jesus’s baptism, he is led to the desert where for 40 days he doesn’t eat. He’s famished, he’s starving, he’s hungry. I wonder if he felt alone in that desert? I wonder if he was in pain from the hunger? I wonder if he was desperate?
Jesus was tempted three times at the end of his 40 days. His reliance on God was tempted over and over again. The voice of the devil says to Jesus, “If you are the Son of God”, prove it. Feed yourself. Be strong on your own and accept the gift of my power. Survive a leap off a building. If you are who you think you are, prove it. I wonder if the reason the devil thinks he can tempt Jesus is because he thinks that Jesus is unprotected. In Jesus’s hunger, in his isolation in the desert, I wonder if this seems like an opportune chance to whittle away at Jesus’s confidence. Because the implication when the voice of the devil says, “If you are the Son of God”, is that Jesus isn’t. The implication is that Jesus isn’t powerful enough, isn’t strong enough, isn’t faithful enough to do these things. And if Jesus is in a vulnerable position, maybe he’ll wonder himself. Maybe he can be tempted. Maybe the voice can tempt him to try and prove himself on his own. To prove himself in ways that he would never think to. To prove his worthiness, his strength, to prove that Jesus is powerful enough to be the Son of God. We face temptation too, right? And maybe it is the actual devil sitting next to you with his “what ifs”. Or maybe it’s the voice of someone who was supposed to care about you. Maybe it’s your own voice in your head. I know mine tends to be my own voice. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. I’ve had more therapists than I often like to admit. Some were good, some not so good. And there’s one that forever changed how I hear my own voice of temptation. Years and years ago one of the good ones during a session gave me a sheet of paper with a list of phrases on it. And she asked me to say each one out loud and tell her how it felt. They were mostly therapy self-affirmation stuff. Like, “I am an intelligent person”, “I am strong and capable”, “I deserve the respect of others”. It was a great list, and through most of them my reaction was, “Yea, sure”. And then I got down to one that said, “I am worthy of love”. I didn’t know what to say. And so I looked up at my therapist and she suggested I read that one again. So I did. “I am worthy of love.” And I broke. Tears poured out of me. I managed to choke out to her, “I really want to believe this.” I really want to believe this. The voice in my head, my tempter, was a voice that told me, “If you were really worthy of love, you wouldn’t feel alone…you wouldn’t mess up your relationships…you wouldn’t get involved with people who are bad for you.” “You would be better. You would be happier.” “If you were worthy of love, you could prove it.” It took a lot of work to understand that voice was lying. The same way the voice of the devil tells Jesus he has to prove his divinity. And now, years and a lot of work later, that phrase “I am worthy of love” is one that brings a smile to my face. But I know that in my own vulnerable heart, in my own feelings of inadequacy, the voice of temptation doesn’t give up. Just like the devil adapted and searched for new ways to tempt Jesus, even using Jesus’s own scripture against him, the voices we hear or we create adapt and search for new ways to tempt us too. What “ifs” do you hear? Do you hear, “If you are worthy enough? If you are smart enough? If you are strong enough? If you are faithful enough?” We have probably all heard a voice either in our own heads or from someone else saying “If you are ‘insert-blank’ enough then…”. And those voices tend not to take us to good or healthy places. They come to us when we are most vulnerable. They often make us feel alone or isolated like we’re in a desert or on the top of a building. What do we do when we don’t know where to go or who we can turn to? Maybe you hear them when you are in need like going 40 days without food to eat. What need do we have that has gone unmet for so long that we become desperate? Sometimes that temptation comes when we are in pain, like starvation in a desert. What aches, what hurts, what heartbreak might close us off to hope? Those voices of temptation tell us, like in the temptation of Jesus, we should just be enough to do it on our own. That we can only rely on ourselves. Without help or support. If we are these things we should be able to do whatever we need to alone. Who needs reliance on God, on community, on anything if we are these things? Jesus relies on scripture throughout his temptation to refute the devil. He answers over and over again, “It is written…” But even the devil can and does use scripture to make a case that fits his needs. In Jesus’s seemingly unprotected state, in his hunger, his need, his pain, it’s easy to see how he might be tempted. How he could feel isolated and desperate. It seems only human. But sometimes we forget that he’s not alone. Just before Jesus fled into the desert he was filled with the Holy Spirit in his baptism. And the Spirit led him to that desert place. The Holy Spirit is with him there in that desert, on that building, through all of those temptations. And because Jesus is not alone…because he’s Jesus…Jesus knows he doesn’t need to prove who he is to the devil. Jesus, filled with the Holy Spirit, knows that he is worthy enough, he is smart enough, he is strong enough, he is faithful enough, he is chosen enough. Jesus knows he is the Son of God. Jesus knows that he’s enough. Rocks and bread, ill-gotten kingdoms and power, even Temples and angels aren’t how Jesus proves who he is. Jesus proves that he is the Son of God, the messiah, through his healing, his teaching, his feeding, his love and relationships with those who feel they’re not enough. Jesus is the Son of God, after all. And we’re not always as sure about ourselves as Jesus is. Surprise. Sometimes we listen to the voices, we give in to the temptation, and we lose sight of who we are. We push people away, we take things into our own hands, we make mistakes, sometimes with dire consequences. And Jesus does the one thing only the Son of God can do. He loves us. He forgives us. And he takes those voices saying we’re not enough, those temptations to prove our own worth, Jesus takes all of that to the cross. The cross is all the proof Jesus needs of who he is. Jesus doesn’t say to us, “If you are…If you are worthy enough, if you are strong enough, if you are faithful enough” you can be a child of God. Jesus dies on the cross to say, “You are….” On the cross the Son of God says to you, “You are worthy of this love.” On the cross the Son of God says to you, “You are strong enough to hear this grace.” On the cross the Son of God says to you, “You are faithful enough for me.” Jesus rises from the dead, brings victory over temptation, over our inadequacies and our insecurities. Jesus promises us new life, and brings us a voice that says, “You are a child of God. You are enough.” A voice that goes above and beyond the temptations that we or someone else can create. So that when those voices come to us, we can answer knowing that we are not alone because the Son of God names us children of God. Because the Holy Spirit is always with us, comforting us and leading us down new paths. Because God who gave us Jesus, who made us and loves us, calls us to be more than our temptations and makes us worthy, makes us enough for whatever might be ahead. So that we can be followers of Jesus, children of God together, relying on God to care for us, to call to us, and to invite us along this path of discipleship. So that we too can share our faith and our love the way Jesus shares his faith and his love throughout his life and ministry:
Jesus answers our “if’s” with hope. With hope for healing. With words or songs or even people reaching out to you when you need them most. And Jesus answers those voices of temptation with you. With your voice, for yourself and for others. You just might be the answer Jesus provides for someone else. Because you are a child of God too. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Thanks be to God, amen.
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